Oh the places we will go

A little more than 5 years ago I wrote my first blog post. Little did I know at that time how true my words would become in my life. The twists life has taken over these past years has been nothing short of crazy. My family has walked thru  the great depths of despair and pain and yet we have also experienced joy that is beyond description. Tonight as I write this my mind is flooded with so many memories both good and bad. I would love to be able to say that through it all my faith has never waivered and that I have also sought comfort and peace from my God. The truth is that I have not. I wish I could say that I always looked at that light at the end of the tunnel and believed it to be Jesus and not a train. The truth is that that is not who I have been or who I am. It is however who I want to become.

I want to become a man who always seeks comfort and peace from my God. I want to be that many who consistently lives out those things that he believes. The question for me is how do I get there. How do I move from this place of inconsistency and doubt? How do block out all of the noise that surrounds me? Where do I go from here?

A Glimpse of God's Love

Today I caught a glimpse how God loves on us. My wonderful son was acting in such a way in church that simply broke my heart yet I couldn't let go of him. Part of me what to simply sit him down and separate myself from the hurt. There was another part of me just couldn't let go him. I couldn't explain it and I had to just go with it but then it dawn it me....

This is how God loves on us. We break his heart yet He can't let go of us. He loves us so far beyond reason that He can't let go of us no matter how much it hurts. No matter what we do or how much we disappoint Him, His love remains the same and His arms stay wrapped around us. He loves us with a hope of what we can become. He holds us as tight as He can with the hope that we will chose to do the right thing and follow after Him.

May I always love my son this way. May I love all of my children this way.

One of those days

Today was just one of those roller coaster days. First, I woke today with my little girl in a hospital bed. Abby has been battling pneumonia and other breathing issues this week and we finally had to take her in Friday. It was a tough call because we did not want her to have to go through all of the poking and prodding but in the end it was the right move. She is so much better because of the extra treatments and meds they were able to give her. Once we left there with her it was time for Aiden's soccer game. He seems to enjoy it so much but it can be stressful because he lives in his own bright and colorful world. If you have never been near his world then you may not realize that it does not always intersect with the one most of us live in most of the time. I absolutely love this part of him and I pray that at some level he never loses that world. This being said not everyone understands this and I fear he will be made fun of or looked down upon because of it. This fear has been some what realized on his soccer team and so games can be a little stressful for me.

From there it was some lunch and then off to work. Lately work has been relatively low on the stress range. The position I am in is low stress relative to other positions I have been in. Today though was not that way. I had to deal with some very upset customers one of whom ended up calling corporate about her issue and stated that I was unprofessional with her. Along with that I am training a new person, who is doing pretty good but he still has a lot to learn, and I had to finish a project that should have already been done. All in all it just was not a very good day and I left there frustrated, annoyed and mad.

I know we all have these kinds of days. The ones which are full of all kinds of emotions. Those days were we feel like so much is out of our control and we just want to take a quick time out to catch our breath. It is these days that I think truly define our character or at least show our true character. As I look back again over this day I can see the mistakes I made that made this day more difficult than it needed to be. I can also look back over the things that I did accomplish. I can see where I did make the right call and was able to do what I needed to do. I can look and see how God orchestrated moments for me to be able to interject Him and His word in to someone's life. It took me two episodes of 24 (time of relaxing) and some writing to help me begin to put my day in perspective.

May God always allow me the time and things I need to put these kinds of days in there proper place and their perspective.

True Vacation

God has always intended for man to rest. We were always designed to set aside at least one full day out of the week to do nothing. This day was meant to be a time to meditate on God and His teachings but it was meant to be so much more. I believe it was meant to be a reminder that life goes on even when we do nothing. The world keeps spinning even when we stop doing.

I think this is one of the great lessons of a true vacation. I know that my wal-mart will still open up tomorrow at 6 am even though I'm not there tonight. God will still be working in the lives, hearts and minds of people in Sugar Grove despite the fact my family is in Florida.

God is so much bigger than us and He is doing so much more than we can even begin to comprehend. We can easily lose sight of this when we are living our daily lives. We get so focused on our life that we begin to think of ourselves as more important than what we really are. We lose sight of the fact that in the grand scheme of things we are but one small pieces to the puzzle.

This does not mean though that what we do lacks value or importance. It is rather a reminder to keep things in perspective. It is a reminder that at the end of the day it is still just (insert your place of work here) and that all of the worry and stress will still be there no matter how much you worry about it and that some times you just gotta take a vacation! :)

BB at 9 weeks

New Golf Clubs

Just wanted to share some pics of the boys and their new golf clubs!

I've been thinking...

As some of you know I truly love being in the city. There is so much life and energy all around and I long to be a part of its rhythm. A part of being in the city is mingling with those "less fortunate." Some people who interact with this group are disgusted and annoyed that they are around while others work hard to ignore them. Some people try to help while others condemn. Still others do not even care enough to notice.

I'm not sure how you react when you rub elbows with the lower end of the socioeconomic scale but I do know how God would want us to react. God looks at those in need with great compassion and love. He wants us to see them as individuals who could a touch of God's love.

Do you seem this way? Do imagine them as a child full of hopes and dreams? Do you see them as God's creation? Do you see them as worthy of love, your love?

Eagerly Watching

Here are some thoughts after having read Psalm 5:3-" 3 In the morning, O Lord , You will hear my voice;
In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch."

How many of us start out each day before God in prayer and then eagerly wait/watch for his answer? I know I don't usually do this. In fact, I would go so far as to say I rarely do this. I know God answers prayer but I lack that eager anticipation when I'm waiting to see Him do only what He can do. Why is that?

I don't really have a good answer. I suppose a lot of it has to do with how close I am in my relationship with God. Maybe it has to do with church culture that I'm in. Nobody around me thinks like that so it makes it harder for me to think that way. I don't know why but I'd sure like to change it. I'd love to be at a place where I eagerly expect God to well ..... be God. How about you?
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It is finally here

I've known that this day was coming for a long time. I knew early on that there was something special about Denise Bavone. The fingerprints of God on her were unmistakable. I knew that God had big plans for her. I could see that He desired for to go and do far beyond what she could imagine.

She has been on incredible journey over the last few years. I've watched experience great joys and incredible lows. Through it all God has been with her. He has been molding her for this moment and this hour. The adventure she begins today is the culmination of years of God working in her life. I'm honored that God allowed me to be a part of that process.

I know that the Denise that leaves today will not be the Denise that comes back in December. She will experience things that will forever change how she sees the world and how she understands God. I'm so excited for her. I look forward to seeing how God uses her to change lives because I know that He will.

I love my Kermit and I will miss her but I wouldn't have it any other way. She is following God in to the unknown and I can only hope that I would be able to do the same.
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