Having faith in God....

Today's events have caused me to really delve into what it really means to have faith in God or better yet what it means to trust Him and to not rely on things of this world.

Our latest pregnancy has been a real struggle for me in terms of balancing a reliance on God alone and seeing medicine and technologies as God given things. As most of you know we have had a number of different complications in past pregnancies. As a result we have been seeing all sorts of doctors through out this pregnancy. Along with all of these we have educated ourselves on all of the various issues that we have been facing.

My struggle has been how do I prevent myself from relying on this knowledge (and the doctor's knowledge) and loosing sight of God and his sovereignty. I am not really sure that I have come to an exact conclusion other than to say that I have to learn to live in the gray. I am not sure that there is an exact answer to the struggle other than to always be seeking the answer. Could it be that God is not necessarily looking for us choose which to follow so much as it is that He wants us to be always cognisant of the fact that we do need to be relying on Him. Could it also be that in the process of seeking to do the right thing (through prayer, study and time with God) that we end up doing exactly what He wants us to be doing, which is deepening our relationship with Him.

So here is to living in the gray! :)